fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
