i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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