dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
