i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
