We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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