But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
