I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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