I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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