i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
