Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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