also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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