he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
