It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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