i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
