"it" just moved
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
