if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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