She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
