whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Don't make out with my wife yet
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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