i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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