just come out here and I will go home with you...
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
