Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
