if i can run in heels then i can drive
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
