I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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