Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
