Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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