His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Randomize
