I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
