it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
