That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
