Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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