I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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