I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
