I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize