and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
