Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
