so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
i now understand why vodka
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
