I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
