just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
