Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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