I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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