just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
