dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
