Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
