Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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