OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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