i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
