We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
