I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize