dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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