The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
