Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I wish you could order shots online.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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