I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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