so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
