I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
