Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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