Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
