don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
There r osticjed everywhere
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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