There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
