Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
