and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
